Ok, I finally got it. Know what's cooler than Vanity Fair? Me! Going on a press trip! To Malta!

Hell yeah.

It's about time I got a frickin perquisite around here.

And know what's even cooler than me spending a week at a five-star resort? The fact that I may find time to help you vicariously enjoy my adventure! Maybe. If I'm not too busy getting tan lines in the balmy 11-degree weather. Celsius of course. It's funny how Celsius always sounds wickedly cold.

...

Oh wait. That's 51.8 degrees F. That is cold!

Heh. Well. I'm sure it'll warm up in the next two weeks. If it knows what's good for it.