Anyway, I’m going to Hungary, so you can say what you want.

Also, the Cutest Pregnant Person on the Planet has not yet had her baby.

But Julia Roberts has, two of them. A boy and a girl. Can you believe I had to read about it in the Supermarché U crappy “Soaps Daily”-type magazine ? I feel like I should have known. It was like that when Britney and Justin called it quits too (not that I follow such things). I think I was in Panama at the time and I found out like five days later. That’s like finding out about the Berlin wall five days too late – you feel like you should have been overcome by some presentiment of cosmic change, but instead you find out you’re like the most ignorant pea on the planet. Yay for us peas! I’m always the last to know. Anyway, what do I care? I’m going to Hungary.

Also, I am officially a kick-ass snowboarder. Yee-haw and stay the hell out of my way or I might run you over because I have absolutely no control over my board!

So that’s the news for now. Except my friend from Expensive IV League College (she just happened to be in Geneva) who replaced me in the social circle I had formed among my boyfriend’s friends at school is now madly in love with one of his friends, respective boyfriend and girlfriend notwithstanding. But hell, I don’t mind. It makes life more interesting for the middle-aged.

I thought of a few more reasons why I am middle-aged:

*Gray hairs. Yep. I may even reach 45 before I reach 25.

*Alzheimer’s. Wait, what was I talking about? (More on this later – I read a great article that completely freaked me out about my incipient memory loss. But it did give me strong hopes about Ritalin.)

*Parkinson’s. When I tilt my hand at an odd angle, between flat and perpendicular to my arm, my wrist starts shaking uncontrollably. What’s that? Carpal tunnel you say? Well, I’ll have you know that I hardly sit at a computer long enough to acquire CT and that all that muscular overexertion while I was pushing myself up off my ass (after laying sick lines on my snowboard), that has nothing to do with…wait, what were we talking about again? I’ll think of it in a sec.

Also, the desire to have kids, settle down, reach my peak in earning power – all these things point strongly towards my having reached middle-ageiturdinality.

Not that I care. I’m going to Hungary. All I know is that they have hot baths. Sounds like a good place to sooth my aching, middle-aged bones.