Oh by the way, at the Wells Fargo I went to yesterday? Today a bank robber shot a teller and took a hostage.

Just another day in Arizona, la de da....

...

Ok, WTF? No, seriously. WTF? Never have I lived in a state where so many crimes have been perpetrated on me or people I know.

In the last three months:

• A co-worker's car was stolen
• My roommate's car was broken into
• The phone box at work was broken into and used to call porn numbers
• There was a gun fight in park across the street from my house
• And now this.

I ask you: WTF?

All I have to say is: When I went to the Phoenix Sky Harbor airport a couple weekends ago it was packed. And that can only mean one thing: a lot of people want to get the hell out of Phoenix.

And I am one of them.

Oh, did I mention that I broke up with my job yesterday? Well, I tried to. That's how I meant the conversation to go. But then we got to reminiscing about the good times, the laughs, the history. And what can I say? I felt bad. So now I might be working from California and flying in every once in a while. Or working part time. Or on a freelance basis...

Look, how was I supposed to react? You'd have a hard time saying no too if they looked you in the eye and told you how much you meant to them. Ok, fine. I'll admit it. Once again, my self-serving intentions were undermined by my CHRONIC NICENESS. (...Because it is nice of me to ditch them after three months cuz I, like, wanna surf in California, right?)

LOOKIT, I've had SERIOUS pangs of conscience since I took this job, so it hasn't been easy, ALRIGHT? The mental anguish alone ought to absolve me of all guilt.

On the other hand, when I say I don't fit in here, which was my justification for leaving ("It's not youuuu, it's meeeee"), I really mean, I don't wanna freakin get shot next time I go to the bank, alright? Is that really so outlandish? Take me back to the land of gleaming Mercedes and sun-kissed anorexic people! The grass is so much greener there!

Well, you know how that goes.