You know how sometimes that feeling of deep inner satisfaction gives you a feeling of impending doom? The knock-on-wood feeling? The certainty that things are so good that something disastrous must be about to happen?

Well that's how I feel.

My life is perfect. And that's an ominous thing.

I work from home. I love my job. I can go surfing during lunch. I get to walk my doggy in the most gorgeous sleepy little beach town ever, with the cool ocean breeze calming every last frayed nerve from living/driving/working in Glenferno, Arizona as the sun does its best impression of a perfect summer day...I live in paradise.

Which makes it an absolute certainty that changes in the climate due to global warming are going to exacerbate global geopolitical tensions and cause widespread suffering within my lifetime. I'm just sure of it. Either that or I'm going to get a cavity before I sign up for dental insurance. Or I'll leave my credit card at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. Or some other dastardly thing. I can just feel it creeping up on me!

In fact, the only sucky thing about my life right now is that there's nothing to complain about.

Except the fact that there's nothing to complain about.

Which, when your hallmark characteristic is active inner cynicism, is a pretty serious condition.

I mean, seriously. Did I have to live upstairs from a fashion designer whose creations Halle Berry has graced and who has all sorts of beautiful and fabulous friends and who invites us over for fondue? Couldn't I live above some insipid, uber-trendy jeans-wearing, Louis Vuitton-toting account executive and her collared-shirted, sunglasses that don't actually block out sun-sporting, spikey-haired, evenly tanned boyfriend so I could revel in my enlightened, nonmaterialist lifestyle? NO. I had to go and live near cool people in an awesome location. And now see what happened? I'm HAPPY. What-T-F.

When they say you live in La-La Land, they're really not kidding.

La de dah.