I found out what goes on at a second-round interview at Auto Trader. They say they already found someone else for the graphic artist job, but how ’bout a customer service rep job because we looked at your resume and we think it’s interesting!

I’ve been getting “interesting” all too often in response to my resume. Now I know my life is interesting (one might even say “fabulous”)—but WTF does “your resume is ‘interesting’” mean? My best guess is: well, she’s not quite qualified but she went to an Ivy League school…underqualified…Ivy League…underqualified… aw heck, let’s give her a call. She sounds interesting.

And by golly, I don’t disappoint. I am everything you would ever expect of an Ivy League graduate: white, upper-middle-class-bred, and the owner of a completely useless degree. I dunno, I would hire someone who majored in Religion modified with Native American Studies, wouldn’t you? Especially if she had a French minor. Because, you know, French is so damn useful in Arizona. It’s not like people here drive around with bumper stickers that say “FOR SALE: French Army Rifle Never Fired. Dropped Once.” Really, they don’t.

So I’ve decided that honesty is the best policy. I’m going to tell the event planners that there’s no way in hell I’m sticking around Arizona when the temperature gets into three digits…unless I really fall in love with the job! …So… please waste resources training me so I can find a better job in three months!

…And Hooters it is.

Oh how interesting I will be.